Livin’ In Sin: Shacking Up Before Marriage
If you are a young Black person in a relationship and at least one of your parents regularly (or occasionally) attends church, you’ve probably heard the term “shacking up” before. Some of my non-Black friends are familiar with the term, so maybe it’s not just a Black thing. But anyway! As always, my opinions come from my experience and you can trust me on this one because according to the title, I’m living in sin. *Raises hand* Hello, my name is Jessica and I’m a shacker. :-/ (Yes, I made that word up.)
My mom and his mom (maybe even him) will probably kill me once they read this post, but they’ll be OK. (Hey Y’all! LOL) I don’t want to be another blogger writing about what everyone else is writing about. I want to get down to business and talk about those things that occur in our everyday lives and not just in reality TV – specifically as it relates to relationships. The fact of the matter is, more and more couples are opting to live together before marriage and we need to take a look at this phenomenon in a deeper way by considering the reasons many do it and not passing judgement on those of us who do.
I grew up in church and while I was still attending the church I grew up in, the pastor focused heavily on the subject of shacking up. I’ve since moved and started attending a new church and I can’t remember ever hearing the pastor discuss this subject. It made me wonder if the term is still relevant or still as taboo as it was back then. After searching through the Bible for verses specifically addressing shacking up, I did not find any.
I think people take the words of the Bible and make their own interpretations and shacking up is probably an old interpretation that has been passed down for generations and generations without very many challenges or oppositions. I am definitely not trying to challenge the Bible…I’m just saying. You know how people can make the words of the Bible fit their individual situations and beliefs.
When we decided to move in together, we had a number of reasons. The main being, we didn’t want to continue paying rent at two different apartments and we basically were always at one. Another reason was at that time we had been together for six years and felt like moving in was a natural next step.